Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
