i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
