areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
