I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's the barista slut.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
