I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
