Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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