I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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