I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
