Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
