He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
