Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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