If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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