btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
