once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
