Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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