can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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