guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i think my cat just said my name.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize