I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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