Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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