Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
