dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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