Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
