why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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