Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
