he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
