Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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