Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
