Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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