i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
