everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm really busy with my period
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
