did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
