So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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