Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
