you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
