i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
