some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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