its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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