I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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