I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
