Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
