Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
