As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
