I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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