no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
