dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
