so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
