The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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