I want to stick my p in your. b.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
