This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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