Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
