Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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