Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
