she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
