I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
