I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
