Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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