Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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