i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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